34 Weeks Pregnant – The Babymoon

34 Weeks Pregnant – The Babymoon

When I first posted on Facebook that my wife and I were taking off on our “babymoon”, one of my friends commented, “At every guys request, please don’t perpetuate the ‘babymoon'”. I can only assume that he was lamenting being forced to take his baby-mama on a vacation prior to her giving birth, which I completely understand. Taking your wife on vacation certainly should be the exception rather than the rule. I mean, it costs at least twice as much as going by yourself, you have to compromise on where to eat, and they usually expect at least one “romantic” moment to happen which you have to orchestrate to look like it happened spontaneously because you’re “so in love”.

That said, when I planned my trip to Hawaii, leaving my wife at home barely crossed my mind. I mean, who was going to carry my luggage if not my wife? Plus, when you travel with a pregnant chick people are super nice to you. They smile at you creepily, offer you places to sit, and usher you to the front of the line (which is infinitely better than being Chris Brown’d to get you back in line). It really made the trip extra special and there is a reasonable chance I will bring my wife on all future babymoons. That said, let me tell you a little about it.

My wife and I have taken to staying outside of the typical tourist areas during our travels so I booked three unique looking places via AirBnb.com. Having never been to Hawaii, and no familiarity with any particular parts of it, we rolled the dice on our 12 night trip with 5 on Maui, 2 on Molokai, and 5 back on Maui in another spot.

PHASE 1 – Maui (Kula)

Kula is located in what’s referred to as “Upcountry” on Maui which is a fancy way of saying, “far as shit from the beach”. Believe it or not, proximity to the ocean wasn’t part of our criteria for this trip. I know, most people go to Hawaii to sit on the beach all day but that’s not our style. While I enjoy the ocean view and spending an hour or two on the sand, after that I’m ready to go do something. Lisa is even worse than me. After 10 minutes of sitting still she’s all, “How much loooooooonger?” So rather than orchestrating a shark attack on her person, I simply keep her entertained inland. The place we stayed was a little cottage with an incredible view where we resided for 5 day including Christmas.

Frank Prather Bad Ass DadThat’s me on a deck. That’s a tangerine on me. That’s our cottage on the hill.

Kula, Maui viewThat’s the view of the ocean from our cottage.

Bad Ass DadThis is us trying to time a selfie.

Bad Ass DadThis is me wondering how my wife got so huge.

Bad Ass DadThis is us finally getting our shit together for the picture.

Because I don’t want to turn this into a travel guide book, I’m just going to throw out a couple of highlights from each phase of our trip. The most convenient thing about Kula is that it’s really close to the entrance of Haleakala National Park. This is a popular spot to drive to the top of the 10,000 foot volcano peak and watch the sunrise. They tell you to get up early so you don’t miss it, and to dress warm because it’s cold. What they mean by that is “get up in the middle of the night” and “doesn’t matter what you wear, you’re going to freeze to death.” But hey, you’re going to have an epic picture of a sunrise which will get you so many Instagram likes that your life will suddenly have meaning.

kulafrozenTropical island my balls.

kulasunriseClouds. Craters. Sunrise. That’s a wrap. Back in the car.

The other thing about Kula, that we discovered accidentally, is that it turned out to be the start of the most epically beautiful drive we have ever taken. And for those who are familiar with Maui no, it was not the Hana Hwy aka “Road To Hana”. Well, not exactly. Most people make that drive from Paia down to Hana town which is about 45 miles of mildly scenic road. Along this route are a bunch of suggested stops where you and 659498375 other people try to jam your cars into zero parking spots so you can hike in a take pictures of x/y/z. We drove it. It was unimpressive. However, if you drive to Hana from Kula, your going to have eyegasms at the sheer beauty of everything you see the entire way. Plus, you can pull off anywhere you want, don’t have to hike, and will see about 5 cars on the road over the hours long drive. It’s so epic that we did it twice.

Road to HanaIf I were roadkill I’d want to be dead on this road.

Frank Prather HawaiiHello Hawaiians, I am your new king. Congrats!

Bad Ass DadLisa is in such good shape because I “allow” her to run alongside the car.
You’re welcome, dear!

Bad Ass Dad waterfall2 mile hike uphill (ish) to get to this waterfall.
My wife, 7 months pregnant, basically ran it.
She > you.

You’re now approximately 1/3 of the way through this blog. Click the “MORE” link below to see the rest. Don’t worry, it’s mostly pictures so you don’t have to strain your weak brain by actually reading.

PHASE 2 – Molokai (Kaunakakai)

For the second leg of our trip we took a ferry to the island of Molokai which is thought to be in the shape of a shoe or a fish, or a fish wearing shoes. The island is known for being the home of feral pigs, a species of wingless fly, a Monsanto seed factory, a leper colony, and the birthplace of hula, none of which I made up and all of which will kill you. With around 8,000 residents, many of whom are natives, no chain stores or restaurants, and 2 main roads, Molokai feels like authentic island life. It wasn’t necessarily the best part of the trip but it was the most unique, and seeing how the locals lived really changes your perspective on things. Even more so than those on Maui, they really don’t seem to give a shit about the nonsense we think is important.

Maui sunriseSunrise leaving Maui on the ferry and heading to Molokai.
Hoping I don’t have to poop on the boat.

Molokai Jungle hut“Driveway” through the jungle to our “cottage”.

Molokai Jungle hutOur accommodations for 2 nights. It’s not as fancy as it looks.

kitchenThis is the view from inside where you are pretty much still outside.

Molokai spiderThis is just one of the 40493958584 spee-eye-ders inside our hut.

Jungle pathThe “driveway” continues down to…

Molokai property beachOur private beach. This is what I think about when I meditate.

Molokai propertyThat’s our little beach from the kayak-cam with toe-finder.

lisakayakPregnant paddling.

We visited multiple beaches on the island that were completely deserted.

Molokai lisabeachrocks lisabeach

We also visited some sacred sites where I acted like a grown up.

Phallic Rock Molokai Phallic Rock Molokai

As cool as that island was we both agreed that our favorite part was sneaking down a dark alley in the dead of night, approaching a small creepy looking window, and ordering an entire loaf of fresh bread smothered in butter, cream cheese, and strawberry jam. This may be the best thing I’ve ever eaten, and I’ve had Scrapple!

alleybreadHello murderous alley dwellers, don’t touch my loaf!

breadSeriously, I’ll kill you.

Bad Ass Dad SunsetAnd the sunset boat ride home after a spider and bread filled weekend.

In spite of the live performance of “Arachnophobia”, going to Molokai was an awesome experience. It makes you realize that, while big city life may have a lot to offer, there are also areas in which it just can’t compete, like peacefulness.

PHASE 3 – Maui (Makawao)

The final 5 day leg of our trip was spent back in Maui in an area called Makawao.

Makawao.

Makawao lemme rock you lemme rock you Makawao. Lemme rock you that’s all I wanna do, Makawao lemme rock you lemme rock you Makawao, lemme rock you lemme feel for you, feel for you.

The place we rented was on a huge piece of property that had an organic farm, countless fruit trees, a running stream, and was adjacent to “The Sacred Garden“. Although we loved the two previous locations, this was far and away our favorite. A quiet, peaceful setting in a quaint little cottage surrounded by greenery. If I were a religious person I’d say it was surrounded by a beauty only God could create. If I were a spiritual person I might say it was a Zen-like sanctuary where one could find inner peace. However, I’m an Atheist with no soul so I’ll just say it was awesome and I want to live there and hide from all religious and spiritual people forever and ever and ever.

Maui cottageOur cottage where all cheese is “cottage cheese”.

Roosters On MauiCock blockers.

cocksoapI told Lisa to stay away from all that …. so she wouldn’t become a…

We had some more fun adventures on this final part of the trip including…

hanaviewA bit of sightseeing. See that, it’s a sight. That you see. We saw it.

lisapoleMy wife is super energetic today.

earthsvaginaWe fell into this spot I like to call “Maui’s vagina”.

frankcaveWe gave Maui’s vagina a gynecological exam. No wait, this is a lava tube cave.

lisacaveLisa has that pregnancy glow.

lisamazeAfter we went lava tubing Lisa wanted to try the maze.

mazeThis is me waiting 10 minutes for Lisa to find her way out of the maze.

lisadressMy gorgeous wife carrying my first child, ready for NYE. This is my life.

mamasfishusNew Year’s Eve dinner at 4:30pm because I am old.

mamascardThey got us a card because dinner there costs 1 million dollars and they can afford it.

blackpearlI rarely post food pics but “The Black Pearl” was pretty epic.
Both when we ate it and when I re-cycled it the next day.

*Here is where I would post a picture of us partying on New Year’s Eve except for we were in bed at 9:30pm*

feetbeachJan 1, 2015 we spent inexplicably staring at our feet not noticing the ocean at all.

lisabeachpoutLisa is super excited that the wave just “cleaned” her sand castle.

smileusOur “this has been the best trip ever” last day photo.

poutyusOur “going home sucks” last day photo.

flighthomeAbout to fly back to Lame Angeles.

lisaluau

This last photo requires no caption. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me and the reason for all that I do. With her, every day is an anniversary, a honeymoon, a babymoon, and a walk on the moon. The only thing that will make life better is when we have our 3rd musketeer to go along for the ride. And what a ride it’s been so far.

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Comments

  1. Love this blog and the pics too. My favorite part was the last paragraph. I can’t begin to tell you how happy it makes me. Love you!

  2. Planning our babymoon at my 34th week so i’ve been doing some research. But this post is so beautiful, it just sealed the deal for me. Thank you for sharing!

  3. Just read this (had to skip some I’ll admit !) And it’s just the most beautiful blog!! Trust you and your beautiful wife are living life t the full with your third musketeer

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