Breastfeeding In Public Is Offensive

Breastfeeding In Public Is Offensive

UPDATE: The mom whose post I’m responding to here edited her piece dramatically after what I can only assume was the outpouring of support for my blog. So, lest you think that what I wrote below is an overreaction to her seemingly milder post, here is a link to a screenshot of her original post To The Mom Who Refuses To Put A Cover On. (If the image appears small just click on it to expand to full, readable size). Then come back to read my post below which is unedited, because I stand behind every word.

MY ORIGINAL POST

That’s the premise behind a recent post by a mom blogger titled, To The Mom Who Refuses To Put A Cover On. In her piece she responds to a post by a mom who doesn’t cover, chastising her along with all moms who do that. She also posts a photo of the non-covering mom which I view as a distasteful public shaming. I suggest you read her post prior to reading mine because you’ll enjoy mine much more if you’re drunk with rage, as I am. I’ll wait.

Sorry, I should have warned you that she featured a veiny, milk-bloated, almost-but-not-totally-naked boob photo in her post. I hope none of you men broke your screen trying to dive into your computer or worse, your phone, hoping to dislodge that infant so you could slurp slurp slurp on that dribbly nipple. Forget the men, that image is enough to turn any — nay, every, woman into a lesbian. Boobs can do that. No they can. It happens every day. Google that shit.

Seriously, how do I even address her post without a ridicule and profanity laden rant?

Let me start by disclosing that my wife breast feeds anytime and anywhere my son expresses hunger or irritability, and she doesn’t cover. For a few weeks after he was born she covered, but I discouraged her from doing so. That is to say, I encouraged her to breast feed publicly, with no cover. I know it’s crazy, telling my wife to bare her breast for all the lustful men and boys who might stare at her. Worse, it would put her at risk of causing a riotous mass masturbatory session to break out in the middle of the mall. What other recourse does a man have if he sees some of a breast that’s only partially covered by a baby?

Breast Feeding

My GOD woman, we’re at the mall! During Christmas season! People who don’t understand the concept of Amazon Prime are here shopping for presents! And you’re *gasp* feeding your child without smothering him half to death under a blanket. Do you think The Virgin Mary just whipped out her lady lumps in the manger and fed baby Jesus in front of three lecherous wise men? Of course she didn’t. Because the lord made her breasts mostly to attract men and also because virgins that have babies are make-believe. That story is part of a broader fictional narrative created by man.

Clearly my wife has no shame. And for good reason, because a woman’s breast is not cause for shame, covered or not. In fact, a woman’s breast is a magical thing because it provides nourishment for a child in a way that nothing else can (via breastmilk or by generating undocumented income in the form of countless one dollar bills). Breast milk is unfathomably superior to formula and benefits both mother and child. Yes, I know that the mom blogger’s post isn’t anti-breastfeeding. It’s just that the upside of breast milk warrants mentioning, because it’s the only aspect of the breastfeeding conversation that needs to be mentioned by anyone. Long before our son was born we agreed that he’d be breastfed. We also agreed that he wouldn’t be an anchor that forced us to stay at home for months. From his first week we were taking him out of the house anywhere we needed or wanted to go. Obviously my wife had to feed him so she bought one of those covers that’s easy and convenient to use — unless you forget it at home, leave it in the car, or want your baby to stop crying quickly by putting him on your breast without fumbling with some dumbass cloth pretzel. If you don’t have the cover then you can just utilize any jacket or baby blanket you happen to have nearby. Who cares if your baby’s head is sweating like a pig in a fleece pullover because it’s hotter than Afghanistan in August under there. The important thing is that a stranger not be forced to glimpse some of your breast. Or, the important thing might be for people to mind their own fucking business and look elsewhere if they don’t like it.

The attempts at covering frustrated my wife much of the time, which in turn frustrated me. I’d get annoyed and start lecturing her about how she shouldn’t be such a prude and just feed the goddamn baby, because I’m a kind, sensitive man who communicates in a mature and healthy way. Eventually, she overcame her self-consciousness and unleashed her evil nipples on all of mankind, much to my delight. At that point it was game on, and the tata’s were boldly displayed anywhere we went.

breastfeedingAt sushi enjoying the Nipple Hand Roll.

breastfeedingIn the Navy, you can sail the seven seas,
In the Navy, you can suck on mom’s tit-tees.

breastfeedingOn a hike, enjoying lunch with mommy and daddy.
Hey, at least her other boob is covered.

Now that I’ve expressed my sarcasm and disdain to an appropriate degree, along with showcasing my wife’s naked boobs for all the world to see, allow me to address some specific quotes from the anti-uncovered breastfeeding blog.

“I stumbled across an article of a woman breastfeeding her baby in public without a cover. Like, full on bare-breasted in a restaurant right in the middle of the room, type of a thing.  My jaw dropped as I looked at the picture. What in the world was this mom thinking? What was her reasoning for doing this?”

Let me clarify her reason for you ma’am. Her reason is none of your fucking business. How and where she decides to breastfeed is her decision based on her own comfort level and what’s best for she and her baby. You could call the police for public indecency, but the only state you might get traction in would be Idaho which, lets face it, isn’t a real place. However, it is where I suggest you move to protect your fragile eyes from other women’s bare breasts.boobmapThis map clearly shows that, in spite of it’s flaws,
America is pretty consistent when it comes to breastfeeding laws.

“This whole refusing-to-wear-a-cover-while-nursing-in-public trend has been bothering me for some time now. You see, there have been several moments over the past 6 months where I have encountered mothers nursing without covers and without fail, every single time I have felt uncomfortable and offended by it.”

Actually, this quote is the only part of the blog post I actually enjoyed because your discomfort and offense makes my wife breastfeeding without a cover all the more enjoyable. In fact, please send me your daily itinerary so I can quit my job to drive my wife around full-time to wherever you are. I’ll also starve my son so that he’s voracious when we arrive, requiring that he feed on two naked breasts simultaneously. You’ll have to file a restraining order against my wife’s nipples. And I hope that every man in your life is there so that all of their eyeballs pop out of their heads, which I will then collect to use as X-mas ornaments. If my wife is unavailable to accommodate your schedule, I’m going to get breast implants, fill them up with milk, and breastfeed anyone who’s thirsty right in front of you. If you look at me sideways I’m going to lacto-squirt you right in your forehead. Will that make you uncomfortable?

“I have seen so many posts praising women for “baring it all,” but what is the purpose? Is she making a point that she doesn’t need to follow a certain code of conduct while out in public? Is she making a statement that it’s her body and she will do what she pleases with it — whenever, wherever?”

She is making a point. It’s that she doesn’t need to follow your code of conduct while out in public. Just because you follow a repressed, Puritanical belief that a bare breast is offensive doesn’t mean the rest of us have to follow suit. As for a code of conduct, it would appear that your Christian code of conduct involves posting a blog that openly judges and shames someone who doesn’t breastfeed in a manner that you find appropriate. Is that what Jesus would do?

By the way, I hope you don’t wear a bathing suit in public, or red lipstick, yoga pants, anything that shows cleavage, or even form fitting clothing. If you do, you’re making a statement that it’s yoru body and you’ll do whatever you please with it, whenever, wherever. If you do, I think your husband should question why you’re trying to get attention from and attract other men, because that’s what god designed all of those things to do, turn on men. Also, all other insecure women should write a blog post about your offensive behavior as it’s clearly making them uncomfortable. In fact, I think we all agree that the only appropriate outfit for women to wear in public is…

burkaDamn baby, I like the way your forehead looks in them drapes.

…and by “we all” I mean you and ISIS.

“Is she trying to make a statement that breasts are made for feeding a child, therefore I shouldn’t be bothered when my husband or son are staring at her breasts?”

So, if your husband is staring at my wife’s boobs it’s her fault? She does have a fabulous rack so she could be blamed for that, but I’m pretty sure that his eyeballs are out of her control (Wait, unless my wife is Kilgrave. OMG. Is my wife Kilgrave?!?). Apparently, his eyes are also out of his control since he’s compelled to stare at other women’s boobs while they’re breastfeeding. Might I suggest he learn to:

A) hide the fact that he’s staring from you
B) stare only when you’re not present
C) speak to a professional about his attraction to breastfeeding moms?

By the way, unless your husband is gay, he is looking at other women’s boobs, their butts, legs, lips, eyes, hair, and every other imaginable body part, regardless of whether or not it’s covered. Because he is a man and we are visual creatures whose eyes are attracted to the female form. If you think he’s consumed with gazing longingly at you all the time (at least until a bare breast makes an appearance), you live in a fantasy world reserved for the most naive of women.

I’m going to digress here for a moment to express something that might offend all women who breastfeed, for which I do not apologize in the slightest. Breastfeeding is not sexy. You may be beautiful and glowing from recently giving life to a brand new human. You may be providing that human with the sustenance he/she needs to grow healthy and strong which is a beautiful thing. But your drippy, milk engorged breast with big blue veins and a slightly odd shape being sucked on by an infant doesn’t give me a boner. I love that you breastfeed. I applaud you for breastfeeding. I will fight for your right to breastfeed. But I won’t stare at you breastfeeding because, although it’s a beautiful act on so many levels, it’s not a turn-on. It’s just kind of weird to look at, from a man’s point of view. (However, I cannot speak for that mom blogger’s husband.)

“They keep feeding us the pitch; “our breasts were made to do this. It’s normal. It’s natural. It shouldn’t bother anyone.” Um, yeah, about that. Yes, it’s true that a woman’s breasts were made to produce milk to feed her child, but ALSO, a woman’s breasts were made to turn a man on. That’s the way God designed us. (Read Song of Solomon, Chapter 7. It clearly talks about the way God made men and the way that they view a woman’s body). That’s the way God designed men.”

This particular statement is difficult for me to refute but only in the sense that arguing with religious people is like, well, arguing with religious people. Per my response to her previous quote, we do agree on the fact that men are attracted to women. Obviously I don’t base that statement on the designs of a make-believe omnipotent being but rather the biological need for sexual attraction in order to perpetuate our species.

By the way, the Song Of Solomon is amazing in the same sense that Donald Trump is an “amazing” candidate for President.

“God made our breasts (our entire body for that matter) as a feature for our husbands to enjoy.They don’t just enjoy our breasts, they are turned on by them. And what happens when a man is turned on? Welp, if you don’t know, I’ll break it down nice and easy. SEX. Sex leads to babies, and babies lead to nursing our children. That is how we were designed! And this is partly where my frustration lies. I don’t want my husband to see another woman’s breasts (whether a baby is attached or not), and I certainly don’t want my son to see that either.”

Ok, I just can’t. “God” didn’t make your body. Evolution made your body. And your husband’s body. And evolution designed your husbands body to ensure the survival of the species by making him want to have sex with most, if not all, women. Not just his wife. Yes, your breasts are part of the physical package that (theoretically) turns him on, and may even be at the top of the list of attributes that attract him to you. Just FYI, covered or not, other women’s breasts still excite him. He’ll probably never ever ever ever admit it, but he wants to motorboat some of those women. He wants to put his face between their bazongas, shake his head back and forth, and blow raspberries like a little baby. He wants to pretend like he’s the nursing baby. No amount of your wanting, hoping, wishing, or praying is going to change that. On some level you know that, otherwise you wouldn’t be so concerned that he might see another woman’s breast. You might as well either want other women not to exist altogether, or for your husband to have his eyes plucked out by a raven (I assume that’s in the bible somewhere). Understand that he’s attracted to other women even when they’re not feeding their child. Hopefully he’s attracted to other women especially when they’re not feeding their child. Your insecurity doesn’t prevent that. Your insecurity, at the visual stimulation provided by other women, certainly doesn’t prevent that. Because, although your husband pleasures himself behind your back to the mental images of other women, he’s likely/hopefully not acting on it in real life. That’s how adult men work, biologically and socially speaking. Although he wants to have sex with most, if not all, other women, he doesn’t because he developed in a social environment that practices monogamy. He may have impulses, but he doesn’t act on those impulses. Unless of course he’s cheating on you as you read this which then makes my argument moot.

You can’t fault other women for your husband’s attractions. Rather than chastising them for breastfeeding without a cover, how about asking him to look away? Problem solved. 

As for your son, go ahead and repress him. “Protect” his fragile psyche from the vision of partially exposed breasts or any other image you deem “sexual”. Keep him in a bubble and pray over him so that he never searches the internet for pictures or videos of naked women. That’s a totally realistic approach to raising a child who is psychiatrically well balanced and has a healthy view of sex and women’s bodies. It’s a known fact that sheltering your children from everything causes them to develop normally. He certainly won’t grow up to be a chronic shame-filled masturbator or an awkward religious perv (see: Josh Duggar). He’ll grow up to be the perfect little Christian gentleman that you’re forcing helping him to be.

Ah, I’m starting to feel much better. Usually I wouldn’t call out a specific individual, particularly one my wife actually knows, but this warranted a response. See, I’m the guy proudly sitting next to the woman breastfeeding with no cover because she’s my wife. I’m looking at one of the most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen and my heart is filled with so much love that her partially bare breast doesn’t even register. Don’t get me wrong, I know that it might register with other people. Those people might choose to throw a dirty look in our direction, or even a loud “Hmph” if they’re so inclined. But I dare them to say a negative word to my wife. I fucking dare them. Because if they’ve never experienced being reduced to a withered puddle of tears in public they’re about to find out how it feels. I’ll show them what it truly means to feel uncomfortable and offended.

Look, we live in a free society and I not only respect, but will fight for your right to exercise the 1st Amendment and communicate your opinion on a blog, even if it’s stupid. I might not even comment on it, except for when shames my wife and calls her behavior into question. In that case, you asked for it.

In addition to attacking women who breastfeed without adhering to her insecure, psuedo-religious standards, the author is also contributing to the weakening of society. This culture of the social warrior/morality police/PC fuckwits, what I refer to as “professional victims”, desperately want to be offended by something to give them purpose in life. It’s pathetic. You belittle yourself when you cry about shit that doesn’t actually effect you. You also belittle real victims of legitimate wrongdoing. Plus you’re teaching your children to be weak, overly sensitive beings who will spend their lives finding any reason to be hurt by other people’s words and actions. Try focusing on yourself, and your behavior, and lead by example rather than chastising people for how they are “wronging” you with the way they live their lives. Stop being such a pussy.

Hugs.

That’s a wrap my friends. Unless you’re a lactating breast, then it’s an unwrap. Peace.

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If you love me, or better yet, hate me, check out Superior Podcast, the new weekly recording I’m going with comedian Hal Sparks. It’s at http://superior.libsyn.com and will be available to subscribe on iTunes and Stitcher shortly.

Twitter: @frankprather

IG: frankprather

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Comments

  1. Really? I can’t even take you seriously. Is that how you get people to read your BS? Degrade someone’s opinion with distaste, profanity+throw in religion followed by rants? Junk. It’s an opinion, not yours, but valid. I’m sure I would probably clash with every view you had, but a respectful person would have gone about that abortion of a blog in a different way, which I’m sure wasn’t your intent. You think reposting a picture is offensive?! I don’t even have the words for YOUR response. Real classy bad dad, or bad ass dad, same thing.

    • frankprather says:

      So far you’re the only person that’s openly disagreed with my post. You should copy and paste your comment onto my Facebook page so others who disagree will feel empowered to comment as well.

  2. I am a stay-at-home-dad who is proud of the sacrifices my wife and every other mom makes to give our youth the nutrition the need to survive. Skin to skin is a proven fact, and religion and society are not factual reason to make it harder for mothers and thier children to bond and feed! I posted this harsh comment that will probably not make it live on her blog: Go put yourself under a goddamn sheet for your next meal, and while your at it, admire your over-sexualized breasts. Then go fuck yourself. … Here’s to feminism and badassmothers out there!

    • frankprather says:

      Exactly, Ian! Feel free to post this comment on my FB page. Everyone there will love it.

    • The Voice of Reason says:

      You obviously weren’t born in the greatest generation to have said that!

    • The Voice of Reason says:

      All we need to know about you is written in your last sentence…”Then go fuck yourself.”

      You must have fallen off a construction site crane or something to have said that as all your friends laughed at you!

      This is why no one with Reason will ever take you seriously!

  3. Ashley Nelson says:

    First of all God made our bodies! Second of all, I am a mom who breastfed her daughter till 18 months and who breastfed anywhere and everywhere. Did I cover? Absolutely the best my daughter would let me. Does my older son know what breastfeeding is, absolutely! But to teach my children to whip out their private parts wherever without being discreet is not okay. Whatever I teach him children will still be curious. Or that creepy man on the other side of the restaurant might get turned on by your wife and I sure has heck wouldn’t want some creep staring at my nipples. nobody is saying not to nurse we are simply saying there’s a discreet way to do it and even looking at your wife’s pictures she’s more discreet then others I have seen. And lastly if you don’t agree with someone there’s a better way to go about it then degrade them as a person , degrade there religion and down right TRY to make them feel like shit. And here’s to another person who disagrees with your way of doing anything

    • frankprather says:

      You’re right, Ashley, there is a better than to degrade them as a person by posting a photo of them in a blog where you judgmentally chastise their behavior, use your religion as a justification for criticizing their behavior, and calling into question their behavior to make them feel like shit. BTW, those are all things that mom posted in her blog, so all I did was give her a taste of her own medicine. Don’t post public shaming blogs if you don’t want to get one in return.

  4. I went to high school with your wife, we didn’t know each other but have mutual friends. Which is how I came across your blog. I completely appreciate your blog. I breastfed my now 21 month old until he was 14months old. I just had my second son last month, who I am also breastfeeding. I happen to nurse with a cover out in public, because that’s how I feel confortable. Even with a cover I still received my fair share of dirty looks and even commentary from people that didn’t approve. In which my favorite take away from your blog “it’s none of your fucking business.” People who want to be offended will always find a reason to be offended, covered, not covered or formula fed.

    • frankprather says:

      That’s a great attitude, Jasmine. Do what suits YOU and let others do what suits them.

      • The Voice of Reason says:

        “Do what suits you”

        These are words that you now have to live by.

        If I were a dad like you I would begin to think….maybe I shouldn’t write this kind of stuff that sits here on the internet forever?

        What if a kid wants to take another kids money to buy lunch? Is that ok you bully?

        What if your kid say’s I wont read my first grade book! Do you want your kid to follow your words of “Do what suits you”? He will be a dumb kid for sure.

        What if your kid at age 17 says “I ran his dumb ass off the road into the ravine because he was going too slow,” \

        The other kid died don’t ya know and the police are looking for your BOY!

        In court your son says, “my dad taught me to do what suits me!”

        At the police station you asked your son why he did that? He said, “I want to go fast like Ricky Bobby and be like you dad.”

        Your brain goes into action of being a good parent..your thinking of a Country song about a boy listening to his dad and saying things he shouldn’t say.

        As he is led away to prison with your famous last words tattooed across his chest that say “Do what suits you” you begin to cry realizing all that you have said and done because of your Pride and Ego put you boy away.

        Think about that!

  5. As I didn’t agree with all u had to say,but I do 100% agree with you on ur view of breastfeeding uncovered! If someone has an issue then that’s their problem, my child comes first and I do what I feel is right for him and myself.
    And to that lady Ashley: really you want to compare nursing a child and whipping out private parts. It’s not like a nursing mom is sitting in public naked showing off all her goodies! You can teach your child what is and isn’t appropriate and how nursing a child with out a covered isn’t a horrible thing. Lastly, the comment about a creepy guy (or even a female) staring at his wife’s nipple while she nurses, well first off I’m sure she doesn’t just whip out her boob and leave it out while she gets her baby. I know I can easily “whip out” my boob while holding my son and no one sees my nipple!! Also, once that baby is latched on ther isn’t much to see but the baby’s head and the top part of the breast, which by the way can be seen in most types of shits. I’m a mother of 5 kids and 4 of them are boys. My oldest sons being 14 and 11, have seen me nurse both the two younger boys 2yrs and 3 months. At home and in public and never once have they then said Damn I’m going to whip out my privates. They understand that the sole purpose of my breast is to feed their brother and nothing else. I’ve have used this time to teach my children especially my boys about respecting a females body (boobs) and how to not to be disrespectful. They don’t sit around staring or even pay attention to me or any other women we may pass that is nursing, same goes for my husband. Women are other women’s worst haters! Get it together!! I thank you sir for your veiw and statement on this topic. Along with how much you support your wife, breastfeeding is difficult enough that we don’t need the hateful shaming from others!

    • frankprather says:

      Melissa, what you wrote here makes a lot of sense and it’s women like you who should be posting blogs about parenting. Thank you.

    • The Voice of Reason says:

      So if your child is screaming at church, and they are kids O’Lord, let them scream and ruin the message for a 1000 people because your little brat comes first?

      Once your child leaves your side the world will give your child a whole lot of whip ass reality because your child doesn’t come first.

  6. I found your article to be ridiculous. You sound as though you do not allow your wife to think for herself and encouraged her into doing something that made her uncomfortable. I see nothing wrong with breastfeeding in public but it should be done discreetly. The article you are bashing made much more sense than yours.

    • frankprather says:

      Jessica, I think you’re misreading my post. My wife felt obligated to cover for other people’s benefit, not her own. She found it awkward and inconvenient, so I encouraged her to do what she WANTED to do, which was to breastfeed uncovered. Not only does my wife think for herself, sometimes she thinks for the both of us. That article that I responded to was judgmental and suggested that people’s behavior should be dictated by other people’s religious, sexual, or social beliefs. That’s absurd.

  7. Frankly, I think this whole post was contradictory. In defending your own opinion, you have successfully degraded not only another person’s opinion, but also another person. After reading both blog posts, I find it hard to believe that you are giving advice on this matter. The mom blogger is not being selfish, but simply stating the fact that indecent exposure in public makes her uncomfortable, just as it makes many others. I think the main difference that separates this blog post from the mommy blogger is the level of respect. Anyone that would say, “I’ll also starve my son so that he’s voracious when we arrive…” Witty candor or not, is not credible. In argument, your cry for attention while defending your arguments based on theories is also an elementary mistake. If the mommy blogger was shaming breastfeeding entirely, I would understand your rage, however in trying to defend your opinion, you have successfully made yourself appear to the general public as an individual who is a member of your, “…culture of the social warrior/morality police/PC fuckwits, what I refer to as ‘professional victims’, desperately want(ing) to be offended by something to give them purpose in life.” So indeed you are right in your statement, “It’s pathetic. You belittle yourself when you cry about shit that doesn’t actually effect you.” In conclusion, I would actually like to congratulate you in the success of you offensively imposing your opinion while simultaneously, blatantly bashing someone using vulgarity of whom apparently you knew. That my friend is the ultimate offense of this ordeal.

    • frankprather says:

      Mr. Carattini, I have absolutely degraded another person. I degraded a person who wrote a blog where she POSTED A PHOTO OF ANOTHER WOMAN and publicly degraded her. Once you open that door, don’t be upset when another person follows you through it. By the way, who made you and that blogger the people who decided what “indecent exposure” is?

      As for the words I used in my post. I stand by them both on the basis of content and language, because I mix a certain type of humor into my pieces that isn’t designed to resonate with everyone. However, it certainly resonated with the 2,000+ people who shared my blog post and gave me positive comments. Comments, by the way, that they posted publicly on my Facebook page which, if you had any courage, you’d have posted yours there too rather than here. Don’t want to voice your opinion with your real name and face attached? Must not believe in what you’re saying.

      Also, I don’t suggest that the mom blogger stop posting her opinion. In fact, I specifically say that I defend her right to post it. Being a “professional victim” is trying to get others to stop doing things that you don’t want them doing, as she does in her blog. I don’t care to prevent people from doing anything, even if I think it’s stupid. That, however, doesn’t mean I won’t comment on it. So post judgmental, morally superior requests for other people to stop speaking and behaving in a way that offends your delicate sensibilities. I’ll continue to post my opinion as I see fit and let the holier-than-thou crowd get their panties in a bunch over it.

      I’ll also say this one last time—I do not know, nor have I ever met, that mom blogger. My wife knows her but they are not friends. If they were, perhaps that mom blogger would have known that my wife breastfeeds uncovered and thought through her condescending post before she wrote it. Happy Holidays.

      • I apologize. I don’t think you realize the ‘stalker-ish ex-girlfriend type of way’ you were responding in by using my surname when I never posted it in my original comment.
        In addition, I didn’t realize how unpopular your actual blog is compared to your Facebook page since that is your defense to every person that seems to disagree with your uneducated opinions.
        Again, the mom blogger not ONCE called out the specific lady in the picture by name (which YOU have done by making sure your ‘following’ knew about BOTH blog posts she wrote) but might’ve found an image in the public sector of google, and used it as illustration for her argument.
        You defend your arguments with cruelty, and prideful antics which makes evident that you in fact must not believe in what you’re saying. Because for you to say I “Must not believe in what you’re saying.” is an understatement. I passionately and confidently stand by every word in my responses. I don’t even have to use the excuse that my humor and responses are not designed to resonate with everyone.
        Lastly, if I recall correctly, you posted your comment without your picture on it on the mom blogger’s page… and John is my real name so don’t use that as a way to discredit the confidence behind my response.
        People are entitled to their own opinions, but respect is a practice that should be utilized at all times.

        • frankprather says:

          Unfortunately I can’t quit my job to respond to your comments full time, so this is the last one I’ll be able to address.

          If someone writes a scathing comment on my blog I expect them to identify themselves. When they don’t, I do a little research so that I know who I’m “speaking” with. As for the popularity of my blog, I’m quite content with the 1,718 shares and 5,000+ unique hits this post received in one day. That said, most people who have comments about it post them on Facebook where they feel like it will start an actual dialogue, rather than the comments section of this or any bloggers site. It’s common knowledge that comment sections of websites are decreasing in usage by readers. There are articles about that very thing available should you do your research.

          The mom blogger did, in fact, post a picture from the specific blog she referencing because she had originally posted a link to it. So she didn’t just use it as illustration for her argument. I suspect you already knew that though. Argue facts rather than just attempts at making me look foolish.

          And, for the record, I never posted a comment on the mom blogger’s page. I post on my blog and my own Facebook page, that’s it. Trust that, should I post elsewhere, it’s always under my real, full name.

          If you believe that “respect is a practice that should be utilized at all times”, I hope you wrote to that mom blogger and took her to task for what she wrote in her original post. It certainly wasn’t respectful.

  8. I just finished reading all three posts and I felt more uncomfortable reading your post than I did with either of hers. The edited blog was not dramatically changed as you stated. Everything she said in the original post was light hearted and politely requesting. The edited post was a bit extended, probably because she must have felt the need to clarify a bit further after your comment, which apparently needs further clarification, but the tone stayed the same in both blogs. She’s simply asking for women to be modest as they nurse their children, and as a woman myself, I can’t think of why her request is rude or disrespectful. It’s definitely a post that is more respectfully handled than people who blog that women shouldn’t nurse in public at all.
    To be completely honest, with all of the innovative tops they have to accommodate nursing women today, why women would be comfortable showing their breasts in public is a bit confusing. True, everyone can do as they would like to do, but do it respectfully. You have a right to your opinion, but sir, the way that you handled your opinion is shameful. First off, the language that used in your blog makes you sound uneducated. There are a million other words that you could have used to disagree with the other blogger. Secondly, to point out that you know (or your wife knows) the woman that you so rudely tore apart is completely uncalled for and casts a light on the type of friend that you and your wife are. And lastly, the fact that you would even go as far as to sadistically mock her by quitting your job, starve your son, and drive your wife around to essentially stalk the blogger who hasn’t done anything but state her own opinion makes you sound irresponsible as a husband and as a father.
    You don’t have to agree with everyone’s opinions and religious beliefs, but it gives you absolutely no right to treat people the way that you have treated this fellow blogger.
    I hope that you find the decency and the respect that you so clearly have lost, to apologize to the woman you have offended.

    • frankprather says:

      Her opinion is not, in and of itself, rude or disrespectful. It’s judgmental, but I don’t fault her for that. What it became, once she posted a photo of the mom she was referencing, was a public shaming of a mother whose behavior she found offensive. Did she need to post a photo of that mom? No, she could have just written her personal opinion on breastfeeding uncovered. Instead, she made that woman’s post and photo the inspiration behind her blog. Once she identified an individual human being with a photo and criticized that persona’s behavior, she opened herself up to the same. So I have as much right to treat her with a lack of decency and respect as she treated that woman. As for my words, I stand by them. If you stand by your words, and have conviction, go post this on my Bad Ass Dad Facebook page so the world can see who you are. Otherwise you’re another coward who doesn’t believe strongly enough in your own “morality”, or that woman, to stand behind your statements.

      By the way, I do not know, nor have I ever met, the woman who wrote the blog I responded to in my post. My wife has met her, but they are not friends. I simply said that my wife knew her, and she does. If she knows my wife, and has ever seen her breastfeeding posts, maybe she should have been a little more sensitive in her post. Happy Holidays.

      • Alexandra says:

        Even in replying to comments, you are still being rude and disrespectful! You don’t know me or who I am and yet you call me a coward, and that my beliefs are not strong enough because I reply on your blog instead of on Facebook. (Why do you have the blog in the first place?)
        In my life, I have better things to do then to be on social media so I don’t have a Facebook.
        But I do believe in what I have said, enough to come back to make sure that you were not simply picking and choosing which comments that you were posting; by using the ones you felt were solidifying your point. So for that, I will commend you.

        Whether you are good friends with someone, or your wife knows of her, the point is that you pointed her out specifically. You don’t know if that was a picture attached to the blog that she was responding to or if she simply googled “breastfeeding uncovered” and took a picture from there, to attach to her blog.

        And on that note, if you believe that breastfeeding uncovered is perfectly fine, then why would you be upset about the picture she used to aid in her blog?

        You can’t pick and choose what is right and wrong. Fortunately, that is not your job.

        You said that she opened herself to the same shaming that she did to the woman who was breastfeeding uncovered, however, two wrongs don’t make a right. You could have taken the higher road and made your point without calling her out specifically, like you accused her of doing.

        But taking the high road is not an easy thing to do.

        Finally, I really don’t mind if you choose to post this or not. In all reality, I’m hoping that you would sincerely look at what the other blogger’s true point was, and that you will see my point as well. And maybe, just maybe you’ll learn to be a respectful blogger.

        • frankprather says:

          You don’t have a Facebook because you have better things to do, yet you find time to write these lengthy comments on MY personal blog? Under that logic I am “better things”, a sentiment with which I wholeheartedly agree. Very kind of you to say.

          Aside of that, I do spend an inordinate amount of time with my “better things” which include working and being with my family, both of which will prevent me from responding to any more of your comments. However, I have approved it because I know that most of my readers find them funny.

  9. First thing I would like to do is congratulate you on your uncanny way to “maturely” tattle tale on someone you know. Secondly for a “badass”dad you certainly have a very limited vocabulary( I stopped counting the immature and unintelligent language after a few paragraphs in). Thirdly as a single female with no insecurities I would like to say that I don’t want to see another female walking around with her boobs out of her blouse. Believe me when I say that I am all for women breast feeding whenever and wherever they want I applaud the fact that those women want to. But when it gets to the point when they don’t give a damn about invading other people’s personal space by openly showing off their boobs, then they loose my respect completely. When the world revolves around you then do whatever the hell you want. But because it still revolves around the sun and we all share the public space than the least that these women can do is be respectful of the fact that their selfish decisions make others uncomfortable. As for everything you said about your opinion on women baring it all, while we might as well let strippers walk everywhere and anywhere they would like. now obviously I’m being a little dramatic but then again so are you. You seem to think its okay to personally bash that mother for your own enjoyment or so you can get some attention. When it comes down to it I’ve seen teenagers talk to people with more respect than you have shown that mom blogger. You sir , are a real live example of how our generation is a “me” generation.

    • frankprather says:

      My vocabulary, however limited it might be, is certainly more impressive than your grammar and punctuation. That said, I didn’t tattle on someone I know. I do not know, nor have I ever met, the blogger I reference in this post. You’re right about one thing though, I didn’t show her any more respect than she showed the mother she posted a PHOTO OF IN HER BLOG. Expressing your opinion on a certain behavior is one thing. Posting a photo and singling out an individual is bullying and public shaming. If anyone does that in a blog then they’re opening themselves up to personal criticism as well. Take me, for example. I have people like you writing negative comments and I accept that. I’ve opened myself up to it. The difference is that I stand by my words publicly. If you did, you’d post this on the Bad Ass Dad Facebook page under your real name. If you don’t then you’re a coward who doesn’t stand behind your words. Live with that. Happy Holidays.

  10. The Voice of Reason says:

    This debate centers around two issues. The first is “I can do what I want in public even if it offends people” and the second, is that “you should care about others” before you take the let’s show off my boobs while breastfeeding in public attitude.

    The posters key issue is that breastfeeding is normal and thus, it should be tolerated at any level.

    When we look at the facts we all agree that breastfeeding is normal and the baby needs fed. We can all agree that babies cry and that’s normal too.

    Normalcy doesn’t dictate behavior because behavior dictates how we all get along in society. We sometimes have to suppress our behavior to get along.

    Let’s say you are at the movies and we all know that everyone has a cell phone. We have all waited in line for the big night to see Star Wars. We settle in our seats, pick at our popcorn in anticipation of a great night.

    In front of you sits a person who’s phone rings. It’s an important call. That person answers his phone and begins to talk loudly because the movie speakers are loud. Does he have the right to just answer his phone and destroy an evening that people have paid hard earned money for?

    Another example would be a baseball game. You have promised your son to take him to see a game. The day is finally here and you go early to hopefully catch a ball in batting practice. You go to your seat and a group of men are smoking cigars. Is it appropriate that 50 people in surrounding seats should be smoked out by these grown men because they say “I smoke, get over it”?

    Is it appropriate to be at NFL game behind the goal posts and people are F*Bombing left and right while children sit in the stands?

    Is it ok to have a screaming child in a library where everyone knows and has been taught you have to be quiet? Does that person have the right to say, “It’s my kid and kids cry so screw off if you don’t like it”?

    What this is all about is one person wants to use “breastfeeding” as an excuse to be just like those that answer their phone in a movie theater which pisses off 300 people, smoke at a sporting event just because they are addicted to nicotine and cuss in front of kids just because their father was a sailor.

    A good person will always use desecration and caring when around other people. These are the rules our parents taught us. They are not government rules but rules that we choose to govern ourselves.

    Merry Christmas!

  11. The Voice of Reason says:

    I posted 6 hours ago and my post still says “Posts waiting moderation”?

    Why does it take a day to make a post on this site?

    Blogger must be out taking pictures of breast feeding or something?

    • frankprather says:

      Unfortunately I was traveling to visit family for the holidays and didn’t have time to log in to find your six, back to back, unanswered comments. However, I appreciate the time and attention you’ve given my blog albeit in a stalker-ish ex-girlfriend type of way. I’d respond to your ranting but I’m busy not caring about your opinion. That said, if you had the courage, Mr. Kalter, to post your opinions on my Facebook page I’m sure there are plenty of other people who would like to discuss this topic with you. If not, as soon as I have the time, I’ll post screenshots of your opinion along with your contact info so people can reach out to you directly. Happy Holidays!

  12. Hi its me again, I just wanted to say that its rude to call someone cowardly and weak. If I had a Facebook I would totally post these comments there, but seeing as I dont (nor will I make one for the sole purpose of appeasing you) I cant, but by all means, feel free to post them there yourself. I totally agree with your right to critizice her, but you took it way too far by writing a whole blog centered on your vindictive opinion of that mom blogger. I do however apreciate the advice. Now whenever I do something that people dont like I can just use the excuse “but she did it first”. Im sure that’ll fly. And if not well then I can always go with pawning my faults off on other people. *please note the sarcasm*
    You see sir, you are a hypocrite. You are shaming the mom blogger for doing exactly what you are doing to her. In fact you are worse BECAUSE you SINGLE HER OUT MULTIPLE TIMES. where as the picture she used was only one example to help show her opinion. Why dont you take a moment and reread your post putting your wife in the place of the mom blogger. Would you agrer with a stranger speaking about/to her that way? I hope not.

    • frankprather says:

      As entertaining as this is, I can’t continue responding to your comments, particularly because your email address is not listed as “junkmail07@gmx.com” which I assume is some way of disguising it. But also because I’ve now posted a new blog with fun pictures of our family holiday along with tons of public breastfeeding photos. Feel free to write a blog about my wife and how offended you are. I promise I won’t mind and neither will she.

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